I went for a haircut and noticed that two customers ahead of me were overlooking a shop assistant. I decided to give him a chance. I explained what I wanted, and he did the job very well. The others had spent their time waiting while I was able to finish and leave. I could not help smiling at that small reversal.
The haircut reminded me of something I appreciate about my father. When he gave me a task, he did not begin by making me feel incapable. His confidence helped me try. I recognise the same gift in people who have trusted the little I could offer at different stages of my life. You do not forget that easily.
Everybody was new somewhere
We often want experienced people without thinking about how experience is acquired. Someone must be allowed to begin, make progress and receive useful feedback. If every customer, employer or colleague insists on a long record before offering even a manageable task, the beginner faces a difficult circle.
That does not mean every responsibility should be given to an unprepared person. The consequences of a haircut are not the same as those of a medical procedure or a complicated engineering job. Trust should match the task, the person's preparation and the support available. Giving someone a chance is not the same as pretending competence does not matter.
But there are many ordinary opportunities where our reluctance is based on habit rather than evidence. We prefer the familiar person because we have never asked what the other person can do. The assistant remains invisible, and we then conclude that only the main person in the shop is capable.
Confidence works better with clear instructions
What helped at the salon was that I said what I needed. Encouragement does not replace communication. A person starting out should not be expected to guess what will satisfy us and then absorb our disappointment when the guess is wrong.
The same principle applies in an office or community project. Explain the purpose of the task, show what a useful result would look like and make it possible to ask a question. If something needs correction, identify the part that needs work. A sweeping statement about someone's ability teaches very little.
For the beginner, there is also a responsibility. Listen carefully, admit what you do not understand and avoid promising what you cannot deliver. Confidence becomes easier to sustain when it rests on preparation and honesty. We do people no favour by encouraging them to conceal the help they need.
A small opportunity can change how someone is seen
Sometimes one successful task is enough to make others notice an ability that was already there. I cannot claim to know what happened at that salon after I left. But the experience was a useful reminder to me: the person everyone overlooks may simply be waiting for an opening.
I want to carry that thought into how I deal with younger colleagues, new volunteers and people attempting something for the first time. We can maintain standards while making room for learning. Those two aims do not need to fight each other.
And yes, I also complained about the price of the haircut when I first told this story! That is a separate discussion. For now, I am grateful that I gave the assistant a chance. Who trusted you before you had enough experience to make trusting you an easy decision?
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